what’s in your head? what are you thinking? i miss those questions you’d ask me whenever i looked pensive. and as much as i disliked you being so upfront with your inquiries, that often caught me off guard, i appreciated your genuine interest in my thoughts, always. you saw right through me, and if i lied about my answers, you’d call me out on it immediately. i hated that more, but loved you more for detecting my lies from my truths. i seldom ask myself those questions when i’m alone, when i’m driving in the car, when i look in the mirror, just to remind me of you. just to hold onto something associated to you. i’ve learned so much in these two years of knowing you and how you’ve become the main source of my aha moments. and although the communication between us isn’t as frequent as it used to be, i love you just as much, if not more. you once responded to me but i always have you in my heart after i whined you always leave me. i didn’t fully believe you then, but i do now, because i get it. i look at the person i am today and feel proud of who i’ve become, and how much of you i’ve carried with me in this little heart of mine. how you’ve played such an integral part of shaping my path and my growth. as with all things in life i’m unsure of the longevity of our friendship but i hope you will never forget to carry me in your heart because i think you may have a permanent spot in mine.
“no matter where we are in the world i believe our paths will cross a fair few times!
you are the best. we will see each other again some day & it will be just the same as if no time has past. that’s a true friendship & that’s how it feels with you.”
another year has gone by
“maybe, in the end, a modern family is just a more honest family”
– Maria Bello, what a fantastic article!
i can’t believe you still remember those silly fantasies i told you 7 years ago…when we would take study breaks and leave our dorm rooms to walk around at night…and you’d ask me about my dreams…and at 20 i replied more than anything i’d give all this up and move to paris, live in a little shack, and work at a cafe. i had completely forgotten all that. i haven’t seen you in 7 years and 7 years later you still remember. i can’t believe you still remember. college seems so long ago. you asked how would you like to be proposed to and i said in front of the eiffel tower. such a silly twenty something response. really, so silly that you shouldn’t even remember.
thank you for remembering, though. thank you for taking me back to my 20 year old self tonight, who was foolish and naive enough to dream such a wanderlust life for myself, and for being the reminder to my 27 year old self that silly dreams aren’t so silly.
p.s. you’re still a good guy 7 years later.
i’m not a humanitarian. i’m not an activist. i’m not a teacher. i’m not a vegan. i’m actually not anything worth mentioning. i don’t make a difference in the bigger scheme of things. all that i am is a person striving to be a better friend, daughter, niece, employee, stranger every single day in a world where we seldom forget that to be of real service to others is to start being the best form of ourselves first. everyday is a struggle because not everyday i am proud of the person i am. i don’t know what my purpose in life is. i don’t know if i will ever do anything remotely rewarding and that i will be proud of. it is frustrating to feel helpless and overwhelmed with wanting to be a part of everything but not being able to achieve anything. so i’m sitting here thinking of what i am. and all that i am right now is someone who wants to put a smile on my loved ones’ faces. and hear them laugh from the heart. all that i want to do for you is listen to what you have to say, really listen. to hear your words, your stories, your thoughts, your vents, and to listen to them without any judgement. all that i can do is let you know i care, that you exist, and that you are incredible in the battles you encounter. all that i want to do is give you more hugs and kisses and hold your hands and let you know how much i love our embraces. all that i want to do is take away your responsibilities worries stress because it pains me to see how they bring you down. all i want is to be as honest and authentic as possible hoping you will acknowledge it and reciprocate it. all i want you to know is i love you and i’m loyal to you. and that is all that i can provide right now and hope it is enough. but because of you and what i have seen and experienced i want to be someone you can be proud to call a citizen of the world.
always searching for inspiration
it’s been a good day, a really good day. maybe it’s the coffee my co-worker brought me (that sweet one!) or maybe it’s thursday and i can hardly contain myself for all the fun things i’m doing this weekend or maybe it’s just the fact that i’ve been trying to live my life a little bit differently these days. whatever the reason, today was a good day. i worked 9 to 5, snuck in some online articles that were excellent reads, accidentally deleted a voice message that was my instant pick-me-up whenever i needed comfort (huge ugh!), and repeatedly read the lyrics to a particular song you’ve introduced me to. but tonight walking into the art gallery and having a conversation with a complete stranger solidified the today’s a good day label. it’s been forever and ever since i’ve had such a hearty sincere conversation with a stranger and honestly, it felt so good. to connect with someone based on chance encounter is just…magical. how could someone you don’t know instantaneously make you feel like you exist? in the space where we both created, for however long we stood there, i was heard and understood, and i hope you were, too. so thank you, dear stranger, for such a truly lovely conversation about life as we know it and life that could be, and for definitely stomping me on these questions, describe your entire travels in one sentence and describe one word for each country you’ve been to? questions no one has ever asked me to reflect on…questions i want to answer.
i hope you all had a good day x
“Yet, people-watching is even more than that. As the flâneur gained pleasure from his knowledge of an industrializing city, so too the people-watcher finds pleasure in disconnecting from his world so he can better engage with it. Like a mirror we hold up to ourselves in the morning, the art of people-watching is a way for us to see ourselves in others. It is through a coffee shop window that we can finally understand the bizarreness of what it means to live, watching life and all of its peculiar characters pass us by.”
– Cody Delistraty (I finally finished the article at work! Such a busy work day today!)
“A flâneur, literally meaning a “stroller” or “saunterer” in French, is someone who falls into the second category. He is an urban explorer, a street connoisseur, a person who walks as a means to reflect on a city’s history, and, as a writer carries his pen, the flâneur carries a deep knowledge about industrialization, architecture and urbanity with him everywhere he goes.”
– Cody Delistraty
“Evidently, the takeaway for women who want advancement at work and chore-sharing at home is this: work for a male CEO with lots of daughters, no sisters, and a working wife, and marry a man with plenty of female colleagues and a paycheck that’s bigger than yours.”
“We walk through our lives, room by room, drawing a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potentials.”
– Ellen Goodman